I THOUGHT ...I WAS DOING GOOD...MY FORGIVING MY MOTHER...AND IT IS STILL HAUNTING ME...MORE...LIKE I NEVERED FORGIVE HER.....XMAS IS COMING UP ...AND I HATE THIS HOLIDAY....I PUT MY XMAS FACE ON FOR MY FAMILY...BUT DEEP INSIDE...I HATE IT.....SO IF MY GRANDPARENTS ON MY FATHERS SIDE...PAID FOR MY MOTHER TO LEAVE US BACK IN 1969...WHY IN THE HELL DID COOK COUNTY BACK IN 1969..GIVE CUSTODY TO MY DAD....WHO MIGHT OF BROKEN THE LAW.. THAT SEX OFFENDERS DO TODAY....BACK IN 1959 SOMETHING IS SEAL ABOUT MY FATHER...SO I KNOW WHEN I WAS IN MY 40'S I FIND OUT HE IS GAY....AND WHEN HE DIED....HE TOOK THAT SECERT TO THE GRAVE.....SO MY SISTER...IS SPEAKING THAT THE SPIRITS....WHICH ARE KNOWN TO MAKE HAVIC ON YOUR LIFE..IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING LIKE ITS SOMETHING U NEED TO LET GO..OR RELEASE......
I THOUGHT IM DOING THAT...IT WILL BE HARD FOR ME TO FORGIVE MY FATHER....I WAS NOT HIS LITTLE GIRL....I WAS THAT BITCH...HIS FIRST WIFE....SO I GUESS ALL THE DAMAGE THAT GRANDPARENTS DID CONTROLLED THE FAMILY...I GUESSED TIL THEY LEFT THIS EARTH...WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT NOW....I REMEMBER I WAS CALLING THEM..TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT COMING HOME....AND ERNESTO #2 WE GOT ENGAGED....SO MY GRANDFATHER TOOK ME OUT OF THE WILL...I REALLY DIDNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT...THAT....I TENDED NOT TO LISTEN TO THEM...THAT I WAS LIVING MY LIFE MY WAY...SO....I THINK SOMETHING HAPPEN THE TWO TIMES MY DAUGHTER JASMINE WENT TO GO SEE THEM AT THE AGES OF 3/4....OH I HOPE NOT...CUZ THIS BITCH ...WILL DEGRAVED THAT GRAVE...IF THEY TOUCHED MY DAUGHTER.....I JUST WISHED....I LIVED IN A NORMAL FAMILY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES...BACK IN THE DAY IT WAS HUSH HUSH...NOW ...ITS TALKED ABOUT......GOD I HATE MY MOTHER...THE STEP BITCH....AND THE FATHER AND PARENTS OF MY FATHER.....FUCK OFF MAN......ENOUGH FOR NOW....
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